Day 29: Why Can't I Stop Eating...EVER?

I know, I know. Today is Tuesday and it's weigh-in day! Steph lost...4.4 pounds this week, making it her second largest loss so far. She is now down 17.4 pounds in just 4 weeks. For those of you that are calculating, that's an average of 4.3 pounds per week AND it means that if Stephanie STAYS here and KEEPS IT UP, she will be at goal in just 11 short months, restarting her life at age 22! Isn't that incredible? One awesome decision can put you on a completely different life course! I m very inspired.

I somehow managed to lose 1 pound this week. Not impressive, but extraordinary if you took a ride in my back pocket and got a load of what I have been cramming down my throat. I am sure many of you struggle with the same things but two major habits kill me. And by kill me, I mean they approach me, tempt me, ultimately win, and have an uncanny knack for instilling self-loathing.

The first is eating out. On Steph's first week here, we avoided eating out like the plague. It was satisfying to have all that extra fast food money at the end of my pay period and it was comforting to cook at home. But then week 2 rolled in and, let's face it, this is Florida people. Standing over a stove or turning on an oven in 100 degree weather is just oppressive. And seriously, how many things can you grill besides meat? It just got tedious and boring so I cracked and went back to dining out "just on the weekends" and before I knew it, it was today (a Tuesday!) and we have eaten out twice! Unacceptable. I must be stopped. Please advise and if you are a Tampa friend, don't let me eat out...Katlyn.

The second issue is portion control. I have 4 witnesses that can attest to the fact that last night, I cooked in like a good little dieter. I invited our buddy Jocelyn over to tell us all about her adventures on her recent trip to South Africa. (She brought us these amazing jewelry pieces made completely out of recycled materials, making her just about the most thoughtful person on the planet!) I made a very weight watchers-friendly meal of whole wheat pasta and a light meat sauce made with mushrooms and ground turkey. When I went to serve the food, I served with a measuring cup. That's right! Steph and I each got exactly 1 cup of pasta and 1/2 cup of sauce for only 7 WW points! Wonderful, right? WRONG! It would have been wonderful, however ask me how many times I revisited that well-meaning measuring cup! Well, that's a trick question. I actually revisited it once, after which I just ignored the cup completely and used my hands to continually fill my bowl. That's only 4 noodles. I don't have to count that! One more spoonful won't count! That's hardly a forkful, basically nothing. Okay, I ate 7 points of pasta and sauce for dinner plus...I'll count those last few bites as 1 extra point. Sound familiar? If it does, phew! I am not alone. If it doesn't, well, I guess I am a lonely food addict. What else is new? Anyway, the point is that if there is food in front of me, I will revisit it and revisit it like an old friend until it's dead and gone. Help! I know I should put extra food away immediately, but I am afraid I would just hide in the kitchen pretending to put it away, when in fact, I am indeed putting it away...in my mouth. Obsessive, I know. But I am working on it.

So that's that. Steph and I have been arguing a bit lately, although today was much better. All the talk of leaving makes me feel abandoned and quite frankly, confused, considering the wild success she is experiencing. This past week, she made it clear on several occasions that she has no intention of staying at HollEwud Booty Camp past August, despite the fact that, as Virginia would say, if she made a grid, she would see that in just 11 SHORT MONTHS she could be at her goal weight! That's the thing that gives me hope though. These are just intentions. And we all know that intentions have the perfect ability to avoid fruition. So my fingers are crossed. However, I might need to whip out the secret weapon. I was not planning on unveiling it so soon, but desperate times...

R